What To Do
by tessnotbess
Summary: Natalie tells John everything. Since he knows he might not be the father of her child, what will he do? Set during the summer of 2010


__Disclaimer: I don't anything. Don't sue me. These inhabitants of Llanview are owned by TOLN

A/N: So this is set in the summer of 2010, right after we find out about the twin pregnancy thing. The story starts during the episode(s) where Jess tells Brody she's pregnant and then he jumps on a table and announces it to the entire bar. Meanwhile, Natalie was ready to tell John everything, and then she doubts herself and her and Gigi have a very lengthy conversation. You remember, it was the first of many episodes where we were all just screaming "TELL HIM" at our televisions. Anyway, I maintain (to this day) that if Natalie had just told John in the beginning that he would have stuck by her side and obviously, a lot would have been different. Maybe I exaggerate Brody's part in all this, but if you were pro-Brody a) were we watching the same show? and b) I don't understand you. But I digress. Enjoy and R&R!

PS- There's a sufficient lack of Jolie on this site right now. Enjoy and please someone update (cough cough wink wink nudge nudge). But anyway, on with the Jolie.

_"So you're okay?"_  
_"I've got a gorgeous redhead by my side, what more could I want?"_  
"Natalie? Hello?" Gigi asked as Natalie stared off at John, Brody, and Jess.  
"He's so happy. They're all so happy" she said, "How can I ruin that?"  
"He loves you. Maybe he won't admit to it, but I can see it in the way he looks at you"  
"I know him, better than anyone. I tell him- he'll stick with me forever"  
"And you don't want that?"  
"I do, I really do, but- he just lost a kid, and this might not even be his. And if it's not- I'll lose him for good. And Jess- how do I tell her?"  
"I know John, too, not like you, but- i can't see him leaving you over a maybe"  
"What if the maybe becomes reality? He's not going to be okay with it"  
"You don't know that" she said, "Natalie, regardless of what you think, you don't have to go through this alone. I saw how worried John was about you-"  
"I have to tell him something"  
"You can tell him"  
"Not now, not after Brody's news"  
"I know what you're thinking"  
"You do?"  
"You're not alone, Natalie. I was seventeen, I got kicked out of my house. I know how it feels to not know what to do. But you're not alone, you have John, you have me"  
"forgive me but that doesn't exactly help right now"  
"Terminating won't make anything easier"  
"it won't?"  
"it'll hang over your head for the rest of your life, you'll always wonder what would have been different"  
"But how do I tell john I slept with his best friend?"  
"Tell him the truth, you were heartbroken and drunk" she said.  
"I don't think that's going to make it any better" she said, "and the baby-"  
"As far as the odds go, use your instinct"  
"I grew up with Roxy, that pretty much killed any maternal instinct I had"  
"then use your gut, you're a cop"  
"I'm an FT"  
"Who's dating a cop. You were with Brody once. How many times have you been with John?"  
"A lot more than once, but he's always careful-"  
"protection can get screwed up"  
"so you have a valid point, but I need solid proof"  
"Well, you can't have that for a while" she said, "So in the meantime, make the most out of it, tell him. I'd put money on it that he'll understand"  
"I just don't want to ruin this"  
"he's coming over" she whispered, going back to the bar.  
Sure enough, Natalie felt John's hand on the small of her back.  
"Hey" he said.  
"hey" she said, "so the pregnancy hormones proving too much for ya?"  
John smiled, "Forgive me for saying this, but God help you and Brody with Jessica on hormones. I honestly don't know how you're going to do it"  
Natalie laughed, "That's what I have a key to your place for"  
John smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "Well, feel free to use it, you're going to need an escape" he said, resulting in more of her giggling, "And of course, I wouldn't mind seeing you some more, either"  
"You see, there are positives"  
"You and Gigi get enough girl talk done?"  
"Why?"  
"Cuz when Jess and Brody leave, I want you all to myself"  
"I think I can manage that" she said.  
As if on cue, Jess and Brody came over to them.  
"I think we're gonna call it a night" Jess said, "but thanks for celebrating with us"  
Natalie hugged her sister, "I'm so happy for you" she said.  
"Congrats, man" John shook Brody's hand.  
As Jess and Brody left, John saw that the bar was emptied out. He smiled.  
"Gigi, why don't you head on home? We'll close up tonight. You don't mind, do you?" he asked Natalie.  
"What, reliving my younger years, not at all"  
"you were a bartender?" Gigi asked.  
"The best bartender" John answered.  
"Well, then I guess you don't need me. I'll see you later" she walked out, mouthing "call me" to Natalie.  
Natalie took a deep breath. She didn't need to be reminded that the easiness they had between the two of them could be gone.  
"So can you manage the tables?" John asked her.  
"Oh, I can" she answered as he did all the stuff behind the bar.  
The lack of words was doing a number on her nerves. What could she say that would get him to put it off for a while? Did she even want to? Why not just rip the band aid off? while a large part of her was scared, a small part thought that he'd hold her hand through the ordeal, be the supportive friend and more that he always was to her. As he finished out, he started to help her flip chair over.  
"you know, I did buy this place because of you" he said, trying to sound casual.  
Natalie could tell he had long been debating telling her that, "I wondered about that. I always felt closer to you here, even when we were apart. We had such good times here"  
"yeah we did" he said, "We'll have more" he promised, "and as far as reliving your younger years-you look just as, if not more, pretty now as then"  
She smiled, "So, I know you had a master plan to get us alone"  
"Well basically, I played Brody today"  
"He's not bad" she said.  
"Not good enough for you to play an honest game with him"  
"So I left out the fact that I went pro-"  
"Anyway, i was just hoping you'd give me some worthwhile competition"  
"Competition implies that you get to play"  
"I'll play if I don't let you break"  
"You'll let me break"  
"give me one good reason"  
"You always let me break"  
"That's not a good reason" he taunted.  
Natalie rolled her eyes at him playfully and took her shirt off, leaving on a revealing tank top. John smiled and nodded. Natalie broke and played, running the table. She smiled because she knew he was watching her. How could she have been stressed out about something less than hour ago? How easily he made her forget. John enjoyed watching her play. When she finally missed a shot, he was not disappointed that his turn only lasted a few shots. He stayed at the table this time, watching her. If she got close enough he would trace his finger along her back, mimicking the motion from when they were in bed. He found it amazing that he had forgotten some of the best moments they shared were little ones. he had missed the big things, dates and sleeping together, both of which were rightly missed. But he couldn't believe he didn't miss watching her play, or listening to her shower, or watching her fall asleep. As she sunk the eight ball, he remembered something else he should have missed more about her. Natalie was confused about why he walked away, but started to rack the balls again anyway. She smiled when she heard a slow song come over the speakers, and it widened when she turned to find john walking towards her. She walked into his arms and they swayed to the music.  
"This isn't my usual pick"  
"Well, the jukebox doesn't have-what was it- Celine Dion?"  
"No, Martina McBride, "my valentine", but surely you've got jazz on there?"  
"You know, you'd think they'd make jazz for jukeboxes, but they don't"  
"Go figure, guess we'll just have to resort to dancing in your room"  
"Well, I figured once in a while we can change patterns"  
"This is nice" she said, as they swayed.  
After a few moments of silence, John whispered, "I missed you" not necessarily to be heard, but Natalie responded anyway.  
"I missed you too" she said.  
They remained silent as the song finished out. Natalie always loved the easiness between them, as if they were just meant to be. She always loved the feeling of his arms strong around her. Nothing else, the world just shrank down to the two of them. As the song finished, John moved so they could see each other. Blue on blue. He kissed her, and she kissed him back. He pulled her closer to him and she could feel his reaction to her closeness. She wrapped her arms around his neck and dug her hands into his hair. They became lost in each other, only coming up after a few glorious moments for air.  
"come home with me?" John asked simply  
"most definitely" she answered, bring his lips back to hers.  
John stopped after a few moments, "Natalie?"  
"yeah?" she said, seductively without really meaning to.  
"we need to put the brakes on for a few, or I'm not making it home"  
"What are you waiting for?"  
"we need to go out, and you need to fix yourself, I don't trust myself to touch you right now"  
"Wha-" Natalie looked to find her tank top almost off of her, "oh" she fixed herself, now had she done that, or had John? she couldn't remember how it happened. She put her shirt back on for good measure.  
"I didn't say that was necessary"  
"Well, the sooner we get home, the sooner you can take it off of me"  
John involuntarily moaned, and took her hand, "let's go" he said, as they left the bar.

Once they had gotten home, their need for each other took over. it had taken a few times, but eventually their need was sated, at least for now. Now, Natalie lay in a comfortable state between awake and asleep, remembering what John had said once she had turned over to fall asleep.  
_As she turned around to fall asleep, she felt John's arms encircle her. One around her waist, and the other wrapping under her, resting affectionately under her breasts. She moaned as he pulled her closer, flush against him. She settled between his chest and the mattress, sighing contentedly as he buried his face in her hair, lightly kissing her head. . _  
_"This is what I missed most about you" he whispered. _  
_"You were never one for pillow talk" she commented, looking at him. _  
_"No, I mean- holding you while we fall asleep"_  
_"I love it when you hold me" she said. _  
_He lightly kissed her, "Well, I'm going to be holding you all night, so get some rest, okay? Even if you won't tell me why, you still had a long day"_  
_"This made up for it" she said. _  
_"Well, I'll rest easier if you get some sleep" he said. _  
_"Okay, Goodnight John"_  
_"Goodnight Natalie" he kissed her one last time before she drifted off to sleep._  
Natalie smiled and drifted back to sleep. Even though she never really could sleep through the entire night, she had always slept better in John's arms, and tonight was sleeping especially well, better than normal, probably the best she'd slept since the last time they'd shared a bed. However, even the comfort of John's arms couldn't stop the nightmares from coming.  
_She didn't understand, couldn't really remember how she'd ended up here to begin with, with him. She hadn't gone looking for him, had she? And then it would all come back to her in a rush. She had been stood up, she had drank way too much, and she had come looking for him. And then- Oh, God she hadn't. As she looked at their two forms she realized she had, she'd slept with the one man who could ruin everything in her life. She must have had a lot of alcohol in her system to sleep with Brody. The thought disgusted her, she didn't even find the man remotely attractive, even if his eyes were the same shade as John's, they would never be the same. _  
_Reality hit her again. He was holding her. this wasn't right, she didn't want him to hold her. It should have stopped after sex, it should have just been sex, this made it more, and it couldn't be, she wouldn't let it be-_  
Natalie's eyes snapped open and her breathing was evening out. it had been a dream. she was with John, she was safe in his arms. and the dream-it was a mistake, but it was still just a dream. It hadn't happened again, however awful it seemed, it was only once, despite how often it tortured her.  
But it was over now, and she was safe, she was with the man she loved. So she could fall back asleep.  
After a few minutes of trying, Natalie realized that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again. What she couldn't figure out was if the pangs in her stomach keeping her awake were from hunger or guilt. As content as she was with john's arms around her and his scent surrounding her, the silence was just allowing her to rerun the events in her mind. Of course, she could always get up, leave, fake sick, or even go look for food. But the fact of the matter was even if she was driving herself crazy she had no desire to leave the comfort of John's arms. She realized that the pangs were more than likely guilt as since her experience this morning, food had been as unappetizing as humanly possible. She was shortly proven wrong as her stomach growled loudly in the quiet room. right after, she heard a deep chuckle from John's chest and he lightly kissed her head.  
"You're awake?" she turned towards him.  
"Now how do you expect me to sleep when you're so restless?"  
"Sorry"  
"No worries" he said, "You okay?"  
"yeah, just a bad dream and then the stomach monster"  
He chuckled again, "Well, if you did have a bug, it's probably gone by now. You want something to eat?"  
"You have food in this place?"  
"Yes, even I get hungry in the middle of the night. You want something?"  
"You know what, go back to sleep, I'll just-"  
"no you won't"  
"John if I really wanted something-"  
"I'm sorry let's check the facts: you threw up this morning, you're staying at my place, you let me invade you, and you're my girlfriend" he said, "So I will go get something for you"  
"What do you have?" she gave up.  
"I have some cold pizza, some protein bars, microwave popcorn- I could make you a grilled cheese if you want"  
"mm could you?" she asked.  
"Of course, you want to eat in bed?"  
"Yes thank you" she said.  
"Okay, give me a few" he said, kissing her cheek then getting out of bed, finding his boxers at the foot of the bed and puling them on, walking to his small kitchen in just that.  
After a few minutes, Natalie got up the energy to sit up. Her eyes had adjusted to the light, and she found John's shirt at the bottom of her side of the bed. She put it on, taking in the scent of him.  
"What am I going to do?" she whispered to herself, "what would he say?"  
She had long wondered what his children would look like, if they would inherit his beautiful eyes. Would they take after him or her? Be quiet or sometimes too loud? She's always known he'd be a great dad, she just never thought it'd happen like this.  
As John walked in with her sandwich, he saw her looking off into the distance. So many times had she brought him back from the recesses of his own mind. Guess now was his turn to return the favor. He sat down across from her, the plate in between them. He touched her leg.  
"hey" he said, softly, "I didn't lose you, did I?"  
"No, just tired" she said.  
"Have you eaten anything since this morning?"  
Natalie shook her head, "I tried eating fries-once I saw them I couldn't"  
"Alright, well, at least you're hungry now" he said, as she picked up half of the sandwich.  
"You can have the other half, i don't know if my stomach can handle all of it yet"  
John nodded, starting to eat as well, "So you wanna talk about it yet?" he asked, and was responded to in silence, "Okay" he said, unsure of what to do now.  
"John?" she asked, interrupting his pondering, "do you-like where we are-us?"  
"Of course" he answered, caressing her face, "you know how I feel about you"  
"I know how you feel about me, but how do you feel about-this?"  
"Is there a difference?" he asked.  
"yeah, I mean if you like just the casual"  
"Natalie, there is nothing casual about us"  
"but if we were ever to become more than just this-"  
"I don't know" he said, "I don't think I'd know until then"  
"At one point, you were going to ask me to marry you. How did you feel about us then?"  
John rubbed her thigh, "That day, there was no doubt in my mind that with you I was happy, and I hadn't felt that way in a long time" he said, "But that was so long ago, I was different then, I didn't know I could be happy. Now I know" he said, "Why?"  
"It's just- we're older than when we should have started this. We've changed, and stuff's happened before we found our way back-even recently-" she trailed off.  
"Natalie, talk to me. Please. Something's been eating at you, I can't stand to see you like this" he said.  
Natalie quietly moved the plate to the nightstand. She looked into his eyes. She knew she had to tell him, now, not for him or for Brody, but because she needed to tell this to the one person she trusted and loved above everything.  
"Can I start at the beginning?" she asked. Silently John nodded. She took a deep breath, "You're not going to like this" she warned.  
"I know" he said, "I'm here, okay? No matter what happened, you're not alone"  
"that's what Gigi said"  
"She's smart, and you have a lot of people who care about you. You have me, and I don't want to let you suffer alone"  
"I've been lying to you"  
"About what?"  
"The night you found me at the airport" she said, "I saw you kiss Marty, and I thought-it's pointless, I just made a moron out of myself over my own fantasies- I was heartbroken" she said, "I had already started drinking before I went to see you, and when I came back I started up again, and not without purpose"  
"I saw the empty bottles" he said.  
"I told you that I stopped off to get more to drink and said goodbye to Brody-that's not really the whole truth" she said, "I went to say goodbye, and we ended up drinking and talking and we were both so drunk" she started to cry, "we were so drunk and we thought we were alone, and- he kissed me-and-" she shook the tears away, "I slept with him" she cried, "John, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I- we never meant for it to happen and felt so bad right after and I was ready to leave and never see him or you again-and it was a stupid drunken mistake that's been haunting me for two months and I just wish I could take it back, because I know how much it must hurt you and I never wanted to do that" she said, "I'm sorry John, I should've stopped it, I should've told you I just-chickened out, I guess"  
John silently moved between her legs, his hand still rubbing her thigh. After a moment, he looked at her, he wiped away the tears. "Did he hurt you?" he asked.  
"No" she answered, "John?" she questioned.  
"You thought it was over, you thought I'd chosen someone over you, you were beyond drunk, Natalie" he said, "I know how much that hurts, okay?"  
"You're not mad?" she asked, tears still streaming down her face.  
"I am, but not at you" he said, "You made a mistake, and you had every reason to believe I was okay to never see you again, you didn't cheat on me"  
"Maybe not but-"  
"If there is someone to blame for this mess, it's me. I got your letter right after midnight, I could have gotten to Rodi's before you saw me kiss her, I could've looked harder. If I had been there, it never would have happened"  
"John, you can't blame yourself for my mistake" she said.  
"No, maybe not, but I can blame myself for not acting on the best opportunity of my life as fast as I should have"  
"I'm so sorry"  
"ssh" he said, "I know how hard this has been on you, I can see it in your eyes, I hate to watch you suffer"  
"I know this is a lot to ask, but could we keep this between us for a bit? I need to tell Brody and figure out how to tell Jess without breaking her again-"  
"That's why you haven't said anything. You're afraid for Jessica"  
"that's not a good reason to lie to you"  
"No, but I can understand" he said, he leaned over and kissed away the two tears streaming down her face.  
"I could never thank you for understanding" she said.  
"That's not all of it, is it?" he said, seeing something in her eyes.  
"No" she cried.  
"You can tell me, it can't be worse, can it?"  
"it could be-"  
"Natalie-"  
"John, I'm pregnant" she said.  
John closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He looked back to his hand on her thigh. Then, he looked into her eyes.  
"that's why you avoided pregnancy talk all night?"  
Natalie nodded.  
"and what you and Gigi were talking about?"  
she nodded again.  
"and the reason you didn't come to smoke?"  
she nodded, starting to worry.  
"Wait, you had drinks-I remember making a note to tease you about frufru drinks"  
"they didn't have any alcohol in them- that's why I didn't have any beer" she said.  
"Wow"  
"I know- its a lot to take in and- with everything you've been through-"  
"You sound like you have doubts" he said.  
"I don't know if- Brody could be-" she cried.  
"shh" he said, "You don't know who the father is for sure" he said, and she shook her head, "Okay, listen- you and me, we're going get through this, okay? I'm right here" he said.  
"I don't know what to do" she said, "I want to give you a kid if you want, but I can't have Brody's- I'd ruin everything"  
"You've thought about aborting?" he asked.  
"I have- I just don't know what to do" she said.  
"You have to listen to your gut-"  
"I don't know what it's saying though. I tried thinking about it"  
"Well, listen to what my gut is telling me" he said, "That night, our first time since I chose you-something happened Natalie, I felt it, I know you did too. Maybe this is what happened-and - and maybe it's sign or something- that we are meant to be together"  
"Okay" she said, "but- if it isn't yours- would you be able to watch me have another man's kid? or be a father to him?"  
"honestly?" he asked and she nodded her head, "I would never deny Brody the chance to be a father to his kid. That being said- I would be able to handle everything else if-" he took her hand in his and looked into her eyes, "If I had a ring on your finger" he said.  
"You aren't- we've only be back together for two months" she said.  
"I'm not saying now, but if you had someone else's kid, I would just want them to know that we were together- permanently" he said, "And I would be a legal guardian, so I could be a dad too" he said.  
"You know, you're probably the only man left on the planet with enough honor to do that" she said.  
"well, you deserve a man who can give you that"  
"I can get a paternity test in four months" she said.  
John nodded, "so- until then- unless you change your mind about me or the baby- we can put it off, pretend everything is normal"  
"Except it's not- Brody's going to flip when I tell him I told you"  
"Do you want me to handle him?"  
"No- though the offer is appealing" she said, "and he doesn't know I'm pregnant. I only told Gigi- and you"  
"I do want to be the one you tell your problems to" he said, "and I know you thought you had to keep all this a secret from me, but not anymore, okay?"  
"Okay" she said, "will you hold me?"  
John laid down next to her, pulling the covers back over them. He pulled Natalie close, so that her head rested on his chest. they stayed silent for a few moments.  
"I love you" she said, quietly.  
John took a deep breath, "You're the only one for me, that's why there's a little bugger growing inside you"  
"Thank you" she said, "I honestly half expected you to tell me to go to hell and you'd never want to see me again"  
"Don't you know by now I'll never turn you away when you need me?"  
"I do. I got scared"  
"You don't have to be scared of me" he said, "Do Brody and Jess live with you at your mom's?"  
"Mostly" she said.  
"why don't you spend a couple of nights here? You might need the space"  
"I think I might" she said, "I don't want to face tomorrow"  
"You don't have to face it alone" he said, "Get some rest, you need it"  
"Okay, goodnight" she looked up as he kissed her.  
As Natalie fell asleep, John silently caressed her hair, deep in thought. He'd been honest with her, for the most part. He was mad about the thing with Brody, and maybe even a little mad at her for it, too; but mostly he was relieved that she'd finally talked to him about it. He was mad at himself, and Marty, and Brody for causing it. He didn't know how he was going to handle Brody tomorrow, if he'd be able to keep his mouth shut or not beat him to a bloody pulp. But his first priority had to be Natalie, especially now, she needed someone now, and she was finally going to let him be there for her. She'd need the help, she was pregnant. He was going to be a dad, she was going to have his child. They'd be forever stuck together. He found himself enjoying the thought, falling asleep next to Natalie was one of the best parts of his life right now, and with their present situation, it would probably be happening a lot more often. He half-smiled as Natalie cuddled closer to him for warmth. He decided to put off brooding until tomorrow, and right now enjoy a peaceful night's sleep next to his own beautiful woman. He silently kissed the top of her head, and allowed himself to fall asleep.

As sunlight was beginning to come in through the windows, Natalie tried to ignore the nausea she felt by inhaling the scent of John's skin and attempting to fall back asleep. She waged this battle for what seemed like hours, and thought she'd beat it. That was until she had to run to the bathroom to throw up.  
John was awoken when Natalie abruptly left the bed. He understood when he heard her throw up in the bathroom. He sighed. He waited until she stopped vomiting to get out of bed. He was confused when he heard her start crying. He walked into the bathroom, kneeling down beside her.  
"hey" he said, soothing her hair back, "You okay?"  
"I feel like shit" she said, "and I did you wrong" she said, crying.  
"Hey, we talked about this. It was a mistake, okay?" he said.  
"Well, thank you for being understanding-but I still feel like shit" she said.  
"C'mon. Come back to bed for at least a few more hours" he said, helping her up.  
"I don't see the point, I'm just going to throw up all morning"  
"the power of positive thinking" he said.  
Natalie proved right, as every time she almost fell asleep she had to throw up again. A few minutes before their alarm was due to go off, John came into the bathroom, sitting down beside her. He stroked her hair.  
"How long did the morning sickness last yesterday?" he asked.  
"til like 3" she answered.  
He rubbed her back, "Alright, listen I have to shower, I'll leave the door open, but I still think you should try and get some rest, we didn't get much sleep last night"  
she nodded, walking back out to the bedroom.

When John walked out of the bathroom, he found Natalie appearing to be asleep on the bed. He smiled, but knew she wasn't asleep when she opened her eyes at him. He sat down next to her, putting a hand on her hip.  
"How ya doing?"  
"I hate being sick"  
"I know" he said, "Look, why don't you take the day off, you need one"  
"I took yesterday off"  
"I'll take care of Bo, okay? you can stay here, spend the day in bed. I'll bring home burgers or whatever you feel like when I come back, okay?"  
"thanks" she said, "you really don't have to be so nice to me, it's not like I deserve it"  
"Look, I just want you to take it easy for a while, and by the looks of it, I don't think you have a choice. and if you're here, you don't have to worry about telling anyone else yet"  
"mm" she agreed, "Thank you for everything. It means a lot"  
John nodded,, "I'm going to get going. Call me for anything, okay?"  
"I will. but just so you know, I never want to see a grilled cheese again"  
"yeah, we'll see about that in a few months" he said, leaning over to kiss her goodbye, "I'll be back" he said, getting up.  
"John?" she said before he left, "I love you"  
he smiled at her, "I know. Brody- it doesn't make a difference, okay? I still choose you" he said.  
"I'm so sorry, and thanks for last night and now and-" she paused, "alright just go, or I'll go on all day"  
"Get some rest" he said, finally leaving.  
Natalie moved over to his pillow so she could be closer to the bathroom, and also so she could smell him. She tried sleeping, and even thought she may have fallen asleep more than once, but was always awoken by the need to get everything out of her stomach. She didn't think she could handle this for another month. there had to be medication for it, right? there was no way other women went through this for centuries with no method of prevention. Tomorrow, she would find it. In the meantime, she tried to fall back asleep.

As John headed into the office, he knew he was a bit late, but Layla really knew.  
"Here's your coffee, though it's probably cold" she said, with attitude.  
"I don't take my coffee with bitchy secretary" he said.  
"Well, I'm sorry but you're here every morning at the same time, and today you showed up late and that really takes a hit on my routine"  
"Sorry to throw you off, but Natalie wasn't feeling too good this morning"  
"I thought she had a bug, aren't those just 24 hours?"  
"Not this one" John said, "Do you have anything for me?" he asked.  
"Bennet Thompson and Eddie Ford" she said, handing him a file, "Brody called, he said if you needed him for anything to call otherwise he won't be in until after lunch"  
"Thank you" he said, walking not to his office, but to Bo's.  
"Hey Bo" John said, walking in on he and Nora, "Oh, sorry"  
"No, John, it's fine I was just leaving" she said, leaving and not happily.  
"Everything okay?" John asked.  
"I have no idea" he said, "I can't remember the night Eddie Ford died"  
"But you have an alibi"  
"yeah, that's kind of where the issue is"  
"Oh" John said, "well, sometimes you have to push aside what's happened to make the present worth it"  
"well spoken" he said, "but I saw you race out of here yesterday-and you only do that for one certain redhead-how're you and Natalie"  
"We've hit a rough patch, not with us, but some stuff's happened-"  
"So both of us have women issues"  
"I wouldn't say I have women issues so much as my women has issues"  
Bo laughed, "well, Natalie's always been a handful"  
"Speaking of, she's staying home today. She got sick a few times this morning I told her to stay in bed"  
"She have a bug?"  
"I'd think so. she feels awful and-"  
"Yeah, it's no problem" he said, "she's as bad as you when it comes to taking days off"  
"there's a reason we get along so well" he joked.  
Bo chuckled, "I'm glad to have you back in the circle"  
"I'm glad to be back. I didn't realize how much I missed her"  
"she is something, isn't she?"  
John nodded in agreement, "Well, I'm going to go look at the Eddie Ford stuff. If you or Nora have anything to add, just let me know"  
"Yeah, and keep me in the loop, will ya?"  
"Will do, boss" he said, leaving for his office.  
When he returned to his office, he sat down. He began to read through the files, trying to see anything that would pop out at him, raise any flags that hadn't been explored yet. He knew his mind wasn't completely in it though, as he kept thinking about calling Natalie to see how she was doing. Every once in a while he'd turn around and stare out the window, see the Angel Square Hotel, as if seeing the building she was in would magically let him know how she was doing. this went on for a few hours, he even tried to make suspect lists for the Eddie Ford case, but as he was doing so, Layla came in.  
"Hey you busy?" she asked.  
"Not anything pressing"  
"Natalie's on line 2" she said, knowing that he'd probably drop anything at the moment based on how he was acting this morning.  
"Thanks" he said, as she left and he picked up the phone,"Hey, I was just going to call you"  
"Well, I do have impeccable timing"  
"How are you feeling?"  
"I still don't feel so good, but I physically can't sleep anymore and I haven't thrown up in a few hours-"  
"that's good, just chill out for the rest of the day, I'll try to be home by six"  
"Did we really have that conversation last night?" she asked quietly.  
"We did. and if you want to talk more tonight, I'd be happy to"  
"How are you so calm? I'm freaking out and I know you're okay"  
"I think maybe I saw it- just didn't want to let myself know I did. It's hard to keep a secret from me"  
"I know, I tried" she joked.  
"why didn't you call my cell?"  
"I tried, but my guess is you didn't check it before you left this morning"  
"Why?"  
"I lifted it from you at Rodi's, turned it on silent and then put it back" she said.  
John took out his phone, and sure enough it was on silent, "How do you do that?"  
"Growing up with Roxy did have some benefits" she joked.  
"You feeling up to food yet?"  
"Never"  
"yeah, we'll see how that goes"  
"Look, I can't imagine eating anything right now"  
"I'll ply you with something" he said.  
"So, which case are you working on?"  
"Ford"  
"anything solid yet?"  
"nope"  
"It's hard to believe that the crime scene was that clean- just the one hair-"  
"Nora's"  
"Right"  
"well, how about we talk cop tomorrow, you are not here, and should be enjoying a day off"  
"You're one to talk"  
"I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about you"  
"fine" she said.  
"isn't that show on right about now?"  
Natalie glanced at the clock, "Fraternity Row is halfway through, you can watch with me tonight on soapnet" she said.  
"Oh, I'm glad I offered"  
"well, I have to see it. Brandon and Brianna finally reunited. stupid writer separated them for like a year, thank God they nixed that whore"  
"do you know that this is fictional"  
"yes, it's an escape from reality"  
"I'm ending this conversation" he said, as Natalie giggled, "take it easy"  
"bye"  
John turned back to his case, a new energy in him now that he knew Natalie was back to herself. However, his new energy did not last long. As he was settling into his new groove, a knock came on his door. Expecting it to be Layla, he answered to let her come in. When Brody walked in, John had to control the rage he felt, but he knew he couldn't just let it sit there.  
"Hey John" he said, "What's been happening?"  
"same old" John said, "Come on in" he said, getting up from his desk.  
John closed the door behind Brody, silently locking it. He looked at the window to make sure the shades were drawn shut, and saw that his other door was also shut. No interruptions.  
"Natalie feeling better today?"  
"A little bit"  
"That's good. Jess was sick all morning-"  
"I hope she's doing okay"  
"Where is Natalie?"  
"Why?"  
"Are you okay, John? Is something wrong?"  
"I'm fine- I just need to make one thing crystal clear" he said, his anger getting the better of him.  
"What?" Brody asked.  
Before Brody had the question out of his mouth, John had swiftly punched him in the groin with as much power as he could muster. Brody doubled over in pain, as John looked at him disgustingly.  
"What was that for?" Brody asked meekly.  
"Natalie told me" he said.  
Brody decided to play dumb, "about what?"  
John lost control again, shoving the shorter man backwards, "don't play dumb, you idiot. She told me about you two. Maybe if you hadn't backed her into such a tight corner I wouldn't find you disgusting right now"  
"it was a mistake"  
"Because you were drunk and alone? I know you better than that" John said, "Jess always comes through, you should know that. And being drunk, really? You're gonna play that? I've seen you drink more than a bottle and walk away in a straight line. You knew damn well what you were doing when Natalie showed up"  
"We never-"  
"yeah, Natalie told me. And I know she didn't mean for it to happen, because I saw what she drank at the bar and she'd be bad with just that. But you just kept her going, didn't you, you were going to let her fly across the Atlantic drunk"  
"Natalie's a big girl, she can handle herself"  
"yeah, she can, and she's good at it, too. but when she's hurting, she is beyond vulnerable, and she has the worst self-destructive streak you will ever know. and she does need people. Just because she doesn't need the princess treatment Jess gets, doesn't mean she doesn't want attention. You shouldn't have given her more alcohol, and you damn well shouldn't have initiated that. You knew what you were doing"  
"It's not like she was yours" he retorted.  
John bent his arm and pushed the younger man on top of his desk, "You listen to me. Maybe you haven't been around this town long enough to know. But me and Natalie, we have something. Maybe you don't know, but she brought me back from the dead, and god knows where I'd be if it weren't for her. You put her in a compromising place, and honestly, you should have cared that she needed a friend, not a drunken one night stand. You don't even know the pain you've caused her. She's dwelled on it for two months and what have you done? Gone back to your cozy little life and left her to deal with the consequences. You bastard. Don't you know how special she is? She doesn't deserve that. She could lose her sister because of you, she was afraid she'd lose me. Do you know how much it takes for Natalie to get that scared?" he yelled, pushing harder, "And you know what's the worst? You called me your friend. Well, you've got a pretty fucked up way of showing it"  
"I never wanted-"  
"Well, you should've thought of that. Not that I'd believe a word you said to me anyway. You knew how much she wanted us. You knew me and Marty were over" he snared, "It didn't stop you. You knew about me and Natalie in the lodge, the fact that I covered a murder charge for her. You think I'd do that for just anyone? You knew what she meant to me, and you didn't care" he yelled, "So yeah, Natalie's mine, and she will be for a long time. Don't get any ideas about her, at all, because I am not leaving her for scum like you. And god so help you if I find out you hurt her, because the second she tells me I will show you no mercy" he threatened, "I don't want to see you near her, not for a long time, do you understand that? Natalie doesn't need that right now, and I now I know why you two have been sneaking around, making promises that you'd never tell a soul. Well, guess what? Looks like you've learned the hard way. You back Natalie into a corner, she's going to come back swinging. God help you if you don't tell Jess the right way, because Natalie will beat your scrawny ass halfway to Cherryvale"  
"John- you need to think-"  
"No I don't. The one thing that's been good in my life is Natalie. We belong together- you- you're nothing" he said as Bo barreled through the unlocked door. John let go of his tight grip on Brody, backing away from the man, sure that if he didn't he'd only punch him again.  
"What the hell is going on?" Bo asked.  
The two men remained silent, the tension between them clearly visible.  
"Alright, let me ask this again- what the hell happened? You two are friends-"  
John couldn't help it, he laughed and responded to that, "yeah, some friend he is"  
"I didn't want to do this to you" Brody responded.  
"You thought I'd never find out? Do you not know what I do for work? You idiot, where have you been, I thought you worked here, or are you just in it to make you move on the FTs?" John shouted.  
"Alright, that's it. Brody, out. Go to my office" Bo ordered.  
Visibly upset, Brody left John's office. Bo turned to John, "I've known you for awhile- you've never gotten that angry at one of your friends"  
"He's not my friend"  
"What the hell happened?"  
"He happened. He and Natalie- they- it doesn't matter. What matters is that he backed her into a corner and scared her so much she was afraid to do anything, she wouldn't even tell me"  
"He's the problem you and Natalie are having?"  
"Me and Natalie are going to be fine. I won't leave her now, not over him, he's not worth it"  
"Then what's the big deal, John? I've never known you to be so physical"  
"You know me, Bo. You know I can leave it all behind and be professional" he said, "he hurt Natalie, whether she'll admit to it or not, I can see it in her eyes. I've never seen her look so afraid, never. You know how bad that is"  
"You know how much I care about Natalie. And if this is true-"  
"There's no if"  
"He's still your coworker"  
"He hurt Natalie, what do you expect of me? I didn't get her back in my life just so she could be so scared she wasn't talking to me. When she finally opens up, I find out-"  
"Alright. So he hurt her pretty badly. I'm not happy about it either. But you did ask for him to available to you"  
"I don't care about me. But Natalie's a part of my CSI, and I want Brody made unavailable to that"  
Bo looked at him, "What happened?"  
"I promised Natalie I wouldn't"  
"Okay" Bo said, "Does Natalie know you dealt with it?"  
John looked down, "No, and I honestly tried- but I can't ignore- he's disgusting and I can't be around him right now"  
"I'll take care of him" Bo said, "But-how is Natalie?"  
"I think she's getting back to herself, but she's shaken up. She was afraid she'd lose me, Jess. and that's her world"  
"I hate that this stuff keeps happening to her"  
"You think I don't?"  
"I know you. which is why I'm avoiding the conversation I have to have next"  
"Then don't have it, tell him to go back to Jess, he'll be happy to get out of here today"  
Bo sighed, "You'll take care of Natalie, right?"  
"Always" he said, "I told her not to go back to Llanfair for awhile- she needs the space"  
"For the talk Clint gives about Brody- you really impress me when it comes to her"  
"she's not just anyone"  
"no, no she's not"  
"She doesn't deserve him on top of her for something he-" he paused, "I'm trying to let go of it- honestly, I am"  
"Well, I'm off to read a riot act- I'll see about rearranging things-"  
"thanks, and if it doesn't work out- I'm going to be at crime scenes with the two of them- I won't have her feel cornered again, not by him"  
Bo silently nodded, and left John's office for his own. John sat back down at his desk, picking up a picture of he and Natalie the day she was accepted into the FT program way back when. He was so happy that day, so proud of her. and now, how far she'd come, good enough to be on his team, good enough to be on any team in the country. There was a thought, he thought to himself. That would get them away from all these problems, if they both took a job with the FBI. Unfortunately, Natalie would never leave her family even if she needed to. He settled back into working. He found himself wishing she were here, to give him an explanation for the evidence, plausible or not. He refrained from doing so, he knew she needed to rest. aside from being sick, she had to settle into the idea that her biggest fear was subsided and that he wasn't leaving her anytime soon. He suspected she'd want to talk about the baby when he got home, and what they wanted. He already knew he'd fight for her to keep it, she was going to be an amazing mother, and somehow he knew the baby was his. He just hoped it was a girl, she would be just as beautiful as her mother, just as free willed, high-spirited, stubborn, loyal-  
He could almost picture the little girl. He smiled.  
"what have you done to me?" he asked, although Natalie was nowhere near.  
John attempted to get back to work, even creating a potential suspect list and making a list of questions that he needed answered before he could narrow it down. He began to look through databases to find anything similar or matching, but quickly got bored. Standard murder, there were thousands of cases on record, mostly solved, some not, and then there were the ones that weren't on record. He could spend days going through it, but instead he chose to use his instincts. As it was starting to get late, he decided to head over to Rodi's and leave police work for tomorrow.  
Upon arriving at Rodi's, he saw Gigi and Rex flirting in a corner, a few regulars, for a minute he thought he saw Natalie, but knew that it was false, as he simply just began associating her with the place, and he had for awhile. He stepped outside to call her.  
"Hey" she answered.  
"hey" he said, "you feeling better?"  
"I am" she said, "I showered and I feel so much better now"  
"So you think you're up for some food?"  
"I'm starving"  
He chuckled, "You want me to bring you something?"  
"If you don't mind"  
"No problem at all" he said, "burger sound good"  
"mmm" she sad, "with tomato and onion and lettuce-but no cheese"  
"Are we still going to do this cheese thing?"  
"I don't want to risk it" she said, "and fries?"  
"so you'll try fries more than once but cheese?" he teased.  
"well, I didn't actually eat the fries, I just looked at them" she said, "please?"  
"It's not like I have to pay for it"  
"You're so romantic"  
"I do my best" he answered, "I'll be home in a bit, okay?"'  
"Okay, I'll see you then" she said.  
"bye" he answered, hanging up.  
He walked into the bar, placing their order with the grill guy. He sat in the back office and helped himself to a beer while he waited. He was enjoying the peace and quiet until there was a knock on the opened door.  
"Hey" Gigi said.  
"Hey" he said.  
"No Natalie?" she asked, attempting to sound casual.  
"She's at home, I'm bringing dinner to her. she wasn't feeling too good this morning, I had to practically tie her to the bed"  
"Oh" Gigi said, "well, I hope she gets over it"  
"She will, she's not one to give up" he answered.  
"Did you two talk?"  
"Yeah, we did" he said, "thank you, you're a good friend"  
"Don't ask me to spill, I won't"  
"I think I know everything I need to" he said, "but it's good to know you're in her corner"  
"I won't keep you, Jeff sent me in here to tell you your order's good to go" she said, leaving.  
John swallowed the last bit of his beer and went out. he took his take out and headed home. He found himself happy that he was going home to someone, instead of an empty apartment, as was the occasion too often for him. When he opened the door, Natalie came right up to him and kissed him. He wrapped his remaining arm around her waist.  
"Maybe I should have stayed home today too" he smirked.  
"You could've come home when I was over the morning sickness, and we'd have had fun" she said, kissing him again.  
"So I thought we'd eat and then talk-"  
"Okay" she said, "I'm actually hungry"  
"I'm glad to hear that" he said, "You're miserable when you're sick"  
"And you're not the one throwing up" she said.  
"Well, if you feel better now-"  
"Jess had morning sickness all day last time, this doesn't mean anything" she said, opening up the bag and finding hers on top set it on the coffee table, and then set his down next to it, "Do you want a beer?" she asked.  
"No, I'm fine" he said, watching her. She was so confident in every movement, so sure of what she was doing. He loved that about her. She always did what came naturally, never second guessed her actions while they were happening. She sat down beside him to eat. She had changed out of his shirt into pajamas and thrown her hair up in the little ponytail that she only wore when she was going to bed. She was so cute when she dressed like this, he thought. So much different from the business suits she used to wear to BE or her "work clothes" for the station. He almost thought she looked better when she didn't care what she looked like. He smiled, digging into his burger.  
"So you're not going to dress up for me?" he teased, making light of the situation.  
"You were the one who told me to spend the day in bed" she teased, "and i dress up for you enough" she shot back.  
"touche"  
"besides, you should consider it a compliment that I'm comfortable enough with you to wear pajamas with you here. My own mother rarely sees me in pajamas"  
"I doubt your mother finds them as strangely attractive as I do" he said.  
"they're not meant to be- they're for sleeping"  
"But you look cute in them"  
She rolled her eyes, "this is so good. give this guy a raise"  
John chuckled. "Gigi asked where you were"  
"I'm sure she wasn't the only one"  
"No, she wasn't"  
"I'm glad she's dating my brother, I never really got to know her, but she's a good friend, I'm glad she's going to be around for a while"  
"Yeah, she's a good one- one of the best bartenders I know"he said, smiling.  
"I'm not a bartender anymore"  
"No, now you're FT extrordaniarre" he joked, "Whenever you go back to work-"  
"I'll try to at least go in tomorrow afternoon"  
"I need you to translate the Ford case into plain English"  
"I don't think it's going to help any- the scene was spotless"  
John sighed, "I'm not thinking about that case right now" he paused, "it's a headache waiting to happen"  
"So was Uncle Bo okay with me?" she asked.  
"Yes, he wants you healthy" he said, "I do, too"  
"Time to talk, I guess" she said, finishing off her fries.  
"Who'd have thought you'd be the reluctant one to talk?"  
"It's not a conversation I ever thought I'd have" she said, "I've thought about aborting-"  
"Natalie- I told you last night, and I'll tel you again-"  
"I know. I know how you feel, how you want to handle it" she said, "and I've thought long and hard today. I don't think I could do it"  
John let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He half smiled and put an arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head, "thank you" he whispered.  
"so do you want a kid?" she asked, "I know what you said last night- but we never actually talked about that. I know timing is worse than awful and we haven't been back together long and I just started a new job and I love it- but-"  
"No buts, okay? I want a kid. You know that better than anyone. And I've always known you'd make a great mother"  
"I already told you, this is one lucky kid to have you as a dad"  
"We'll figure it out, Natalie. You and me always figure things out"  
"How's Marty going to take this?"  
"I have no idea- it's not going to be easy on her"  
"It's not going to be easy on you, either. I mean regardless of our connection, this still might not be you kid"  
"You can get a paternity test at six months, right?"  
"Yeah"  
"I'll come with you. You don't have to do this alone. I want to be there"  
"Can it just be you? and we can leave everyone else out of it?"  
"why don't I think it's my family that you're worried about?"  
"Brody's going to ask questions, I don't know how I'm going to deal with that"  
"Speaking of- I know you told me not to, but- I handled Brody anyway"  
"Does he know I'm pregnant?"  
"No, of course not" he said, "but he is aware of the fact that I know about you two and that he shouldn't have backed you into such a tight corner- and I asked Bo to take him off my team"  
"You hit him, didn't you?"  
"am I really that simple to read?"  
"only to me" she said, "I appreciate it. Hopefully he'll leave me be for awhile"  
"If he doesn't-"  
"You'll beat him to a bloody pulp for me?"  
"of course" he said, "and as far as telling your family- I don't care when or how- but do me a favor and don't stay there"  
"What?"  
"Stay here. Move in. And then we can start looking for a new place"  
"new place?"  
"you want to raise a baby in this place?"  
"fair enough" she said, "but move in? we've barely been together two months"  
"but you're pregnant. and for the first time in a long time I was happy to come home because I knew you were here. I haven't been happy in so long"  
"Okay" she said, "I'll move in. But I do have to tell the family about the baby, pretty soon since Jess has already broken the news and everyone is wondering where I am"  
"You have every reason to not be there, especially now. I wonder if Brody-"  
"I doubt it, he's too afraid of losing Jess"  
"No, he's a coward" John said.  
"He is your best friend" she said, "I don't want to ruin that for you"  
"Natalie, you're more important. and he knew me and Marty were on the outs, he knew how you felt"  
"We were drunk, John"  
"He wasn't drunk, Natalie. It takes a lot to get him drunk, and if he only started drinking with you- you were already gone, you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference"  
"I just don't want to ruin your friendship for a mistake that we both made"  
"No friend of mine would do that to someone I care so much about" he said.  
"Why aren't you mad at me?" she asked, though she didn't move.  
"Because I know that on your part, it was a mistake and you were drunk, and you were heartbroken. And honestly, I've seen both of you drunk and you're a worse cause than he is by a long shot. And I just don't want to lose you" he said quietly.  
"funny, that was my biggest fear, too" she said, looking up at him.  
Gently, he kissed her. "Getting you back was the first thing I've done right in a long time"  
"You do plenty of things right"  
"Never felt that way before" he said, "I never should have let you go"  
"I had too, though. For me"  
"Maybe-but after that night we spent together- I should have made you stay, I should have told you not to go"  
"You were grieving"  
"I was in shock" he said, "her dying was not what was wrong- it watching the van explode"  
"I don't think it would have made a difference" she said, "I had feelings for Jared then"  
"I guess- I just wish things had been different for us"  
"The only thing I think that would have changed anything was if you were never in that crash" she said.  
"Probably. I would've come home to you and proposed the next night. Even if we had problems we would've worked them out- and we'd probably already have a kid"  
"just one-you underestimate yourself" she teased.  
John chuckled and kissed the top of her head, "what can I say? you're irresistible"  
"So-I'll have to make an appointment tomorrow, probably for sometime next week, will you be able to come?"  
"Most definitely, tell me when and I'll mark the day"  
"What do I do if this isn't yours?" she whispered.  
"I don't know, Natalie. I mean, I do stand by what I said last night. But I don't know how I'm gonna handle being around Brody sharing a kid it's not something you ever want to know the answer to"  
"I so want this kid to be yours, I've always dreamed about a kid with your eyes"  
"I'd like that, too except with your hair"  
She smiled, "So uh, now you have a reason to stay out of life threatening situations- or at least not walk right into them"  
"Tell you what, you take care of yourself and the kid, and I will do my best not to risk my life more than necessary"  
"Gee, that's a romantic statement"  
"You know I can't-"  
"I do know, I just worry. I just got you back, I don't want to lose you again"  
"C'mon. Let's go to bed. We can worry about the rest of the world tomorrow"  
"John?" she asked as they got into bed together.  
"yeah?"  
"Are you busy tomorrow night?"  
"No, why?"  
"You wanna help me move my stuff out of my mom's?"  
"You want to deal with everything tomorrow?"  
"I don't know that I'm going to tell them all I'm pregnant, I don't know if I can do that before I tell Brody, or tell them while he's there. - But I hate not being able to kiss you goodnight every night, and I haven't felt comfortable there in a long time, since Jared, and especially now with Brody-"  
"Okay, that's reason enough. I'm not about to protest getting to see you more often" he said, "and- you don't owe Brody anything"  
"He's practically my brother in law, I owe him something"  
"Well, I stand by whatever decision you make about him. But I do think it would be best to leave him out of it for as long as possible"  
"I don't know" she said, "He's been a good friend to me well before anyway. I don't know what I'm going to do about him- I think I'll just live in the delusion that the baby is yours and no other possibility"  
John chuckled, "there's nothing wrong with dreaming" he said, "Good night Natalie"  
"Good night"  
They kissed and settled into sleep.

"I hate everything" Natalie complained as she collapsed on the couch.  
John chuckled, "Morning sickness and moodiness? Yup, you're pregnant alright" he said, sitting down with her.  
"I'm exhausted" she whined, "why was that so tiring?"  
"because you haven't been sleeping enough" he said.  
"If you are going to nag me already I swear to God, I will pack up everything and move out again" she said.  
"Sorry" he said, "but you look better"  
"I only threw up once this morning" she said, "I may survive this"  
"Let's hope" he said, petting her hair down, "though I will say, I'm happy you're here to stay"  
"Me too" she said, "and I mean, aside from shoving some of your stuff in the dresser, everything fits"  
"and we made pretty good time" he said, "and I mean, it's barely 7, I can go get some food, you can pick out a movie, we can just stay here and enjoy the night"  
"Sounds good" she said, which was followed by her phone ringing on John's desk.  
"Of course" he said.  
"Ugh. Do I have to answer it?" she said.  
John got up and went to get her phone for her.  
"It's your mom" he said.  
Natalie sighed, taking her phone from him and answering.  
"Hi Mom"  
"Hello darling. I just wanted to make sure you were settled in with John"  
"Yeah, we're good" she said.  
"Can I ask you a question?"  
"Shoot"  
"Did you move out because you feel left out?"  
"mom, you know I haven't felt that way in -"  
"No, no, no. I meant with me and Charlie and Jessie and Brody because you know we never meant to make you feel like the odd one out- and you already spend so much time with John that I never thought you would and I feel awful- after all we have so much to make up for and I don't want you to think I'm putting Jessie above you and-"  
"Mom, I didn't move out because of you or Jess"  
"Then darling-"  
"Mom, honestly this isn't a conversation I want to have on the phone"  
"It is me" she said, "I knew it- there was no other reason for you to move out so suddenly"  
"Mom, no- I- I can't have this conversation on the phone"  
"Well, then come over, it's just me and Jessie right now"  
"yeah, I'll be there in a few"  
Natalie hung up and looked over at John.  
"I guess the cat's going to be let out of the bag"  
"I suppose nothing with us could ever stay just between us"  
"No, I guess not" she sighed, "Mom's afraid she's the reason I moved out. That I still resent her for not knowing I existed"  
"that's always going to be hanging over your head isn't it?" he joked.  
"Unfortunately" she said, "So the way i see it is to tell her you and your chivalric pride insisted I move in considering the circumstances" she said, "I think she'll go for it- I can leave out the Brody thing- leave that for him to figure out when Jess tells him"  
"I would love to see his face"  
"Maybe we we'll get to" she mused, "But the way I see it is that if it's time to tell my mom, why don't you tell yours?"  
"I'll give her a call while you're gone"  
"Tell her I miss her" she said, "Alright, I'm off"  
"hurry home" he said, kissing her.  
"Home" she said, "finally a place I can call home" she kissed him again.

Viki greeted her with a hug when she arrived.  
"Darling, I miss having you here, you light up this old place so much"  
"John says the same thing about his place" she said, "I haven't even been gone an hour. Mom, honestly? How could you think I still resent you? I've moved on from that"  
"Then why the sudden move?"  
"Can the three of us have this conversation? I'd rather have it as few times as possible"  
"of course, Jessie's in the kitchen. Would you like something to eat or drink? Coffee?"  
"No thanks- my stomach's been acting up lately" she said.  
"Still? Are you sure it was just a bug?"  
"Natalie! You're back! I knew you wouldn't just leave me here"  
"Don't get too excited Jess, I'm not here to stay"  
"Did we drive you away- you know John could've moved in here"  
"Jess, you guys didn't do anything to make me want to leave, I promise" she said as the three of them sat down at the kitchen table.  
"then why all of a sudden?" Jess asked, "I mean, you spend two nights with him and then out of the blue you move out- you already spend so much time with John- I want to be able to see you too"  
"Jess, Mom, look" she said, "I don't spend a lot of time with John. We don't interact much at work and I want to see him more"  
"I've never opposed to him spending time here" Viki said.  
"This- it's just not his style, and if you really think about it, it's not mine either"  
"but you love it here" Jess said.  
"I love seeing you guys all the time, but I never thought I'd live here permanently"  
"I still don't get why it was so sudden" Jess said.  
"Guys, look. John- he makes me really happy. He always has, and I want to be able to see him more often" she said.  
"That's still not-"  
"and John insisted it was the right thing to do when I told him I was pregnant" she added.  
"You're what?"  
"Oh, honey congratulations"  
"This is crazy- is that what the stomach bug was?" Jess asked.  
"yeah, I just- I wanted to tell John in privacy and-"  
"No, don't apologize. This is so exciting, we're both going to have babies at the same time-"  
"Crazy right?"  
"I guess I can see why you moved in then"  
"Well, John has a sense of pride that very few men have left in this world. When I told him, he insisted, and I couldn't say no. He even brought up the idea of proposing- but I told him it was too soon"  
"You'll end up married" she said.  
"I've always wanted that with him" she said.  
Viki was practically beaming, "Finally, both my girls are getting their happy endings"

"Hey Ma" John said into the phone.  
"Oh John! I haven't heard from you in so long. How are you?" Eve exploded onto the phone.  
"I'm good, happy even"  
"i never thought I'd hear you say that again"  
"Me neither, but things are looking up for me"  
"Because of Natalie?" she asked.  
"Yeah. You know I never realized how important it was to have someone like that in you life. she's just so- spirited and full of life"  
"You know that's how your father used to talk about me"  
"Natalie remind me a lot of you"  
"yeah, me and her get along real well. I'm so happy you two found your way back to each other, now I can pretend she's the daughter I never had"  
"Well, she might become your daughter"  
"You can't be proposing to her yet, you'll scare her off"  
"No, not yet. I mean in another way" he said, "Ma, Natalie's pregnant"  
"Oh! John that's wonderful. I'm so happy"  
"I knew you would be" he said, "So did Natalie"  
"So when's the wedding"  
"Natalie said I couldn't propose two months in"  
"And your pride allowed that?"  
"well, I got her to move in, so a bit more work and your ring will be on her finger"  
"You two are going to come out here right? While Natalie can still fly? See Gabe, your brother, share the news"

When Natalie came back, John was getting off of his last phone call. She kicked her shoes off and collapsed on the couch.  
"How'd it go?" he asked her.  
"Oh, they gobbled it right up" she said, "didn't have to mention any unneccessary information, he wasn't there, they were ecstatic, crisis averted" she said, "How about you? What'd Eve say?"  
"Oh, she was ecstatic"  
"I wish I could've talked to her"  
"you will"  
"What?"  
"Ma insisted that since in a couple of months you won't be able to fly that we come out and visit. And I figured, might as well, let things settle down here, let certain people get the chance to get their heads out of their asses and leave you alone" he said, "and we both could use a break- just some time to ourselves"  
"With your mom and brother around, and Marcie, and Gabe?"  
"They'll understand" he said, "but it's time off of everything here"  
"I'm sold" she said.  
"Good" he said, "Because I just booked and took a week's vacation off for both of us"  
"What?"  
"We leave tomorrow afternoon"  
"You romantic" she teased, "I can't wait"  
"Me neither" he said, kissing her.


End file.
